Funny Certifications to Put on Business Cards
Looking to add some filler to your resume? We looked for certifications obtainable through the internet and found it's not so hard to be a knight or a dog psychologist. Here are some ways to become more credible without leaving your chair.
Gemologist
The Gemological Institute of America offers "the most prestigious credential in the industry", a Graduate Gemologist diploma. The course teaches aspiring gemologists everything they need to know about diamonds and colored gems. Graduates will be able to evaluate gems by the 4c's - color, clarity, cut, and carat weight.
↑ IMAGES of almost every certificate that is mentioned in this post.
Dog Psychologist
This course, offered by the UK-based Open College, teaches dog owners and pet industry professionals about the dog psychology. Lessons cover topics like locomotive behavior, eliminative behavior, ingestive behavior, and play. If you pass this course, you'll even be able to add Dip.Dog.Psy, MOC, or MSFTR to the end of your name. We're guessing you also learn what those stand for over the course of the program.
Medical Assistant
To become a Certified Medical Assistant, you must pass an exam administered by the American Association of Medical Assistants. Sample questions on the exam are:
Which of the following is the term for abnormally large breasts in men?
(A) Gynander
(B) Gynecomania
(C) Gynecomastia
(D) Gynephobia
(E) Gynoplastics
Which of the following is the CORRECT spelling for the plural of bronchus?
(A) Bronchuses
(B) Bronchii
(C) Bronchi
(D) Bronchae
(E) Broncha
(The answers are C Gynecomastia, and C Bronchi)
Black Bear Hunter
If you live in Maryland, registering online for a hunting license provides you access to a lottery in which winners are given the right to hunt and kill a wild black bear. Registering also allows you to use a crossbow to hunt nutria, woodchucks, and all game birds and game mammals with the exception of beavers, weasels, muskrats, river otters, and waterfowl.
Beer Judge
According to their website, the Beer Judge Certification Program (BJCP) "was founded in 1985 and has administered the Beer Judge Examination to 8,576 individuals worldwide. 5,077 are currently active judges in the program, with 767 holding the rank of National or higher." Members have judged over 1,029,893 beers and have sanctioned over 6,494 competitions. The program not only teaches you to judge beer, it also teaches you in the ins and outs of mead and cider.
HTML Certificate
W3Schools.com offers a certification in HTML - "The perfect solution for professionals who need to balance work, family, and career building." The certification process involves taking an online course that costs about a hundred bucks, and then you "graduate over the Internet." You can also become certified in HTML5, SQL, and CSS.
National Career Readiness Certificate
The National Career Readiness Certificate, issued by ACT, "is a portable, research-based credential that certifies essential skills needed for workplace success." To obtain the "portable" certificate, you must pass three assessments called Applied Mathematics, Locating Information, and Reading for Information.The certification confirms an individual's competence in workplace skills and can be shown to potential employers.
Professional Purchaser
The American Purchasing Society offers a CPP - Certified Purchasing Professional. "The Certified Purchasing Professional (CPP) program is for professionals who have demonstrated the skills to successfully implement improved purchasing and supply chain practices as part of a business solution in an organization." The program involves a Code of Ethics which includes, "maintain loyalty to your employer" and "refuse to accept gratuities".
Ordained Minister
To become an ordained minister, and legally officiate weddings in most states, apply with The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Church of the Latter Day Dude, or the Universal Life Church. Reconnect with your spirituality.
Criminal Investigator
For 400 bucks, you can become a criminal investigator. And for an extra $50, they'll give you a lab coat.
Doctor of Metaphysics
Granted this certificate is non-accredited, it still says you're a doctor. The certificate, which costs $32.95 is handwritten by the scribe that founded the Calligraphy Society in Seattle, which makes it extra special.
Knight of Sealand
Sealand is an unrecognized self-declared sovereign nation-state that occupies a retired naval station in international waters 6 miles off the eastern shores of Britain. For £99.99, you can be a knight or dame of the sovereign military order of Sealand. For £199.99, you can become a Count or Countess.
Pokemon Professor
Pokemon professors act as judges and organizers of Pokemon League events and tournaments. To become a Pokemon professor, you must first fill out an application, and then take a certification exam online. Once the exam is completed and approved, Pokemon professors are eligible to volunteer as an Organizer, Trading Card Game Judge, or Video Game Judge.
Average Salaries
While not all of these certifications can translate into real world income, many of them can be surprisingly lucrative for a person with the right hustle. Here's a selection of average salaries in these fields:
Medical Assistant $29,600/yr
Dog Psychologist $61,680/yr
Gemologist
$45,414/yr
Beer Judge
$47,000/yr
Lactation Consultant $73,341/yr
HTML Developer $21,000/yr
Purchasing Manager $72,921/yr
Ordained Minister $43,000/yr
Criminal Investigator $79,030/yr
additional sources discover.alpenacc.edu / work.chron.com / payscale.com / simplyhired.com /
salary.com / indeed.com / payscale.com / simplyhired.com / floridatechonline.com
Source: http://www.hopesandfears.com/hopes/now/internet/213637-all-the-weird-certifications-you-can-get-online
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